Oh well.

Shit. Dr. Buyer pulled out of the deal. What a shithead. Like usual, it was last minute too. We found out that this is not his first time doing this shit. Oh well, we'll see how he does in a few months. He had a good thing (I think) since we were willing to part with our office for $70,000+ less than what it's really worth. Somehow, I'm not as disappointed as I was the first time he gave us bad news. This office was built from an empty space in a plaza. We put our money, time, sweat, and blood into it and there is no way in hell I want to sell it to just break even. Especially when I know it's worth more than that. Now this leaves us in (a little more) debt, a little stressed but at least we aren't just waiting in anticipation for something that might or might not be from a weird guy. I'm not just saying that because honestly, Dr. Buyer is very strange. I am okay. I am less worried (I think I should be more worried). Huh...

On a different note. I'm loving my new neon pink toe nails. Yeah, yeah, I'm shallow like that. I've got to humour myself somehow.:)

Thanks for all the words of encouragement and the bloggy love everyone.

I'm TOO Old for This shit

I was amused this morning when a young, barely-out-of-college girl (who might be 22, but looks 12) stopped to check me out from head to toe, give a funny look and turn around. ha ha. Yeah, I look like shit, but what of it?!? That's right, I don't have time to do my hair, put on make up or dress up. But hey, I showered. I got up in the middle of the night to tend to my sick daughter who is coughing and complaining of a sore throat. I know I'm officially old now because when I observe the behaviour of the young folks around here, I feel like I'm watching old episodes of Beverley Hills 90210. Sheesh.

Edited to add: The young "lady" happened to be a fellow Asian - Korean I think.

Blessings

Updates - none really except that Dr. Buyer did sign off on the financial paperwork to get the process started in order to get funds to pay for the office.  He can cancel at anytime but at least it is moving forward instead of being at a stand still.

Yes, my week started shitty and I was depressed.  I am feeling better.  I think I just needed to put my life in perspective.  I am lucky in life because I have a loving and supportive husband, two sassy loving daughters and very good people in my life.

When my family is happy, I am happy.  Though the Hubby isn't completely over the events of earlier this week, he is a little better.  He's just being cautious.

When I see my girls giggling and laughing (and getting along together) my heart melts and it honestly puts a smile on my face.  That's what happened today.  A dear bloggy friend, Darthfoofie, sent Apple and Persimmon some gifts. We received it today and in it were hand sewn princess capes, matching tiaras and staff (or as my girls call them, magic wands) along with some other awesome stuff.  They fell in love with them.  From the moment they saw it, they put on the costume and creatively played until dinner.  Even after dinner, they were share, laugh, giggle and dance. This is the first time since arriving on the island they have played this nicely with each other. Usually after school they are fighting about something.  Not today.  It really brightened up my week.  Here is the picture of the girls just before bed. 

Another bloggy friend had sent birthday treats for Persimmon which the girls also loved.  MN has a girly-girl daughter and knows the in's and out's of what is popular among divas.  LN can be quite the diva herself.  She sent them some nail art kits and lip smackers.  You can't see from this picture but they have tinkerbell nail art on their toes.  Miss Persimmon insisted they had to match with their princess outfit.  In addition to that, Persimmon was being awfully sweet to her sister when she put orange lip smacker on her lips to make her pretty.

Just before bed, both pointed out they were hungry.  Each of them ate a good serving for dinner and didn't even object to what I made (soooo not like them) but at this point, it had been a couple of hours since dinner.  They both ate a whole bowl of Korean style spinach miso soup with rice.  MN had sent that with the gifts. Thank goodness. My kids are Korean at heart and crave miso soup.

Okay, so my point is (I really do have one) that I am truly fortunate to have friends like them and Angie in Texas, who I've never met in person who do such selfless acts for me and my family.  So it is unfair for me to bitch and complain because sadly there are people out there who don't have that.  Friends.  Selfless ones.  I hope both these krajee ahjumahs, who have so many expenses because of recent changes in their lives and have spent way too much money on gifts and shipping know how much I appreciate and love them (without sounding like a cheese ball).

I thank all of you who have dropped by for leaving encouraging words and thoughts on this blog.  I love you guys too.

One last photo before I sign off.  Persimmon in her halloween costume made and sent by Dathfoofie.  I think the tan makes her look almost authentic.:)

MN, we'll be having kimchi jigae (again) tomorrow for dinner.  Yum, yum.

My lovely humps.

Note: I know my previous post was one of panic and desperation. To answer my dear friend MN's question, Dr. Buyer did sign a contract agreeing to close on the office on Oct 1, 2008. He put down $5000.00 as a deposit. If he decides to not go with the deal then we get that deposit. He will be "hotwater" if he doesn't close on Oct 15 as we can take legal action against him. The $5000.00 won't be enough to cover our expenses and we won't be able afford a lawyer to sue him. So the only thing we can do is hope he will keep his side of the bargain and close sooner than later.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)-Black Eyed Peas

I'm not referring to my flat Asian booty but to the humps, lumps, bumps or whatever you want to call it in my life.


Today I was just screaming in my head, "WHY US?!?!?" I honestly believe that each time a major event approaches our lives, you're presented a hump to overcome and it totally sucks.


Event 1: Our wedding. One of the most stressful times in my life. My parents didn't initally approve of the Hubby and his lack of wealth (yeah, I know it's so shallow but hey, they're krajee Koreans). They made my life a living hell. I've never heard more vile things come out of my mother's mouth than I did during that time of my life. I didn't give up or give into her krajee rants. So finally after five years of dating, my parents give in. They agree to just let us marry since they saw that there was no way in hell I was going to break up with him.


Then comes the second hump. His parents. They are demanding all kinds of material goods for the marriage (for the dowry) and my parents do not want to give into what they thought was a ridiculous tradition and waste of money. The wedding is almost cancelled but in the end, my parents compromised and we were married.

Event 2: Getting my work permit. I started working (illegally) in August of 2000 and my work permit was still not approved. Since it wasn't approved, I couldn't get paid. So I was working for nothing and we were living off the small amount of savings we had. Luckily, I was able to get an advance in the form of a loan to help with living expenses. I didn't think I would be approved since the type of visa given was limited to a certain number per year. I ended up getting the permit around Thanksgiving of that year. What a stressful four months.

Event 3: Purchasing our house. Because we were new to the country, we had such a short credit history in the States. Our credit back in Canada was impectable but apparently there is no uniform credit rating system between the two countries. It took FOREVER for the credit report to get finalized to purchase our home. I thought we weren't going to get approved and we'd be living in a rental for the rest of our lives. It pulled through and we were fine except we were only approved for the interest only loan. S'okay, at least we got something.

Event 4: The Green card. It took us 4 1/2 years! The average person takes two. I didn't think we'd get. I ended up hiring another lawyer and paying loads of $ to speed up the process. It was money thrown away because we ended up getting it through our original (slime bucket) immigration lawyer who did such a shitty job. By the way, if you need a great immigration lawyer, I've got a couple.

Event 5: As you probably remember, selling our home. We took an $11,000.00 loss on the house. But we got rid of it and the mortgage payments that went with it. We got final word on the closing of the house in the middle of our drive on the way to Canada. This was so stressful and depressing because our house sat on the market for a year with very little action. Somehow, with some luck, someone was desperate enough to take our house. The future seems grim.
Event 5: Buying our practice. We were supposed to purchase another office but the building owner was raising the rent of the office by three times what he was charging the original doctor. Before we made an offer, with disappointment, we didn't go through with the purchase. We were lost. The hubby needed to work but couldn't get a work visa with his profession so he couldn't work legally, I had a job but didn't pay much and we were still waiting on our Green card. We were also pregnant with Apple.

One day while driving, we saw a newly built strip mall with lots of empty space. The hubby got the idea to open his own office from the ground up. Yeah, crazy, I know. We've put all of our life saving into this practice. We have no retirement money, no education funds for the girls and just a bunch of debt. It's embarassing but it is what it is.

So now with this new event, I hope, the end result will be a positive one. Though I am not religious, God doesn't give let us have things easy. I'm just hoping this delay is just another hump. I need it to be just a hump.

I can't complain about anything thing else in our lives. I have a great husband, two wonderful daughters, very good and blessed people surrounding our lives and family who love us. It's just the financial aspect. It's kind of a huge financial hump. *sigh*

In a positive light, my Apple was so sweet. She saw that I had a sad face so she ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. She said, "Mommy, I loved your chocolate [chip] cookies. They so yummy. And I missed you too." She got a smile out of me.

Sorry for the sad, pathetic whiney post. I hope my next one will be more joyous.

Some cheers

Kind words from an ex-student in the old life I left behind. On FB this morning, I got the following message:

Hi Ms.[mom2divas] , I'm at [college] right now and really enjoy it. I've got chemistry as my declared major right now, and I don't really look forward to the laid out curriculum. I wanted you to know that your class was the reason that I wanted to put chemistry as my major, I still have most of the notes and refer to them occasionally. I hope you and your family are doing well. Do you still teach Chem, or are you still a full time mom right now? I see from your pictures that you've been doing some traveling, that seems like it was really nice. Anyway, just saying hello. Thanks again for being a great teacher.

I had tears in my eyes only because it was nice to hear that now in my shitty state. Am I so selfish?

Black Monday

***Warning - the following contains rants, bitching and whining.***
I am so sad and disappointed. I'm also very angry and upset. Remember when I asked to keep your fingers crossed? Well, I could really use those toes too. The deal did not go through (yet). It really sucks because the Hubby waited until [Dr. Buyer] verbally agreed to close on the office before he purchased his tickets, gave Dr. C her termination letter and tell our office manager about what was going on. He purchased tickets Saturday, making sure that it was a sure thing because he can't afford the time or money to make mistakes. He got special permission from the Dean to be excused for a few days because he'd be missing labs, quizzes and classes. It wasn't even three hours after he got the appropriate signatures that Dr. Buyer calls to tell us he has to delay the closing date...by a month. He hired a new accountant and wants to make sure he get sound financial advice before he closes on the deal. He was approved by the financial company for the loan but he didn't sign the paperwork yet. He also didn't tell our broker this information until today. This really goes beyond WTF. Really. Why did he not mention the financial aspect of it Friday when the hubby spoke to him on the phone? How come he didn't arrange a meeting with his accountant sooner? How come he won't just talk to our awesome accountant? The Hubby was devastated by the news. It felt like a stab to the chest. I was sad too. I felt like we got screwed over. The thing of it all is that Dr. Buyer is being vague about the closing date. Our broker tells us it's probably because he's nervous as the closing date draws nearer(translation - getting cold feet). I know we didn't sign the dotted line to finalize but dude really fucking stinks with his timing. The hubby was suppose to leave Thursday morning to go and finalize things.

The hubby lost $500 just on cancelling flights and the car rental. I purchased toys and clothes for the girls so he could bring them back here. I bought them thinking we'd have some money from the deal to purchase them. Now we only have debt - further debt than what we already owe. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. We can't afford that stuff on the student loan money. We've maxed out all our available credit because of the practice. How will I even get that stuff sent here? I can't even return it because the stuff is up there and I am down here. Ha ha. I guess the jokes on me for being such a materalistic idiot.

Other stressful questions I must ask
1. What if Dr. Buyer doesn't want the practice after all? The Hubby has already given Dr. C her 30 day termination letter. She was kind enough to agree to stay until the end of Oct. But then what? How will he find another Optometrist being down here?

2. Will he have to beg Dr. C to stay on with us and promise her we won't sell the office until her contract is over?

3. How will we pay all our bills when we're constantly maxed out on our credit?

4. I know business is business but how does a person not feel like a fucking dick changing plans last minute? When our broker told Dr. Buyer that the Hubby already purchased plane tickets to finalize on the deal, Dr. Buyer's response was, "I never told him to buy the ticket." Asshole.

5. Would somebody tell me someone something positive? I really could use some encouraging words.

6. How will we get additional student loan money to help with living expenses when we get turned down because of our credit card debt?

ARGH!!!!!
Please, please, please give me a sign that this deal is suppose to happen.

Sigh of the times.

I found this browsing through the computer.

Sigh - times were great BEFORE the attitude kicked in. Persimmon has been quite the sassy girl I'm ready to pull my hair out. Stabbing myself in the eyes would be less painful than having to deal with the 'tude. *Sigh* .

Then I found this old photo. How can I stay angry when she's got so much love to share, right? It sometimes comes out in a less than loving way.



*Sigh*